I'm sure many of you have seen the douchewhore ass fucks on MySpace that pimp themselves out offering assistance in buying a home, refinancing a loan, etc….well my friend, by going the way of MySpace bulletin referral you are guaranteed to be paired up with a pro-motherfucking-fessional……..What say you Vince?

Case and point.

Most girls dream of their wedding day – I've been drawing pictures of my dream house for years. Above is the most updated version. Note the Blue Angels flying over daily to show my omnipresence to the neighborhood. 2 scoops raisin bran sun wakes me up every morning with the freshest of fresh breakfast cereal. That's my attack dog sheriff frolicking in the yard (hence the badge you dumbass – and yes motherfucker is to scale…he's about 10 feet tall and 30 feet long) which is mostly fresh European sod and note the satisfied look on the whores leaving my 2 story abode (that's why the windows are upstairs and downstairs).

Who do I turn to to make this happen? OH GLORIOUS RAIN FROM JESUS ABOVE A FORWARDED BULLETIN ABOUT A LOAN SPECIALIST HAS JUST ARRIVED ON MYSPACE!!! I'M GOING TO SHOOT MY OWN CUM ON MY FACE!!!!

Enter Mau from stage right. Marketing guru. What better way to gain the communities trust and business than with a MySpace bulletin! Well Mau….this bulletin makes you as credible as a 1 handed warthog who just had a picture of a cyst tattoo'd on his eyeball and is about to administer pancreatic surgery on my asshole!

I was feeling a little weary about refinancing my mortgage but you sold me with your headline…"of all muthafuckas on earth you r the muthafuckest"

Hush your lips Mau, I'm yours…not only have you guaranteed a spot at helping me attain a low fixed interest loan…but you've guaranteed a spot in my heart. And I'm stoked you're under your desk rather than..you know....at it...doing work like most normal humans do at a desk (not under it, but at it).

I tried going to your website but the 1st time I got it wrong. I thought your email address said eeCLOWNS, paint my face red with embarrassment when I realized it was eecLOANS!

Once on the page all I could do was yearn to discover more about THE FREEDOM LOAN! Oh blinky lights, you make my cock so hard it could cut frozen moon diamond, the rarest of all diamonds that can only be cut by hard cock.

Check it out, even BLACK people can jive with a loan! HOLY FUCK YOU'LL GIVE MONEY TO ANYBODY MAU! AND WHAT THE FUCK BRO??? (John Blackman Above) THE WOMAN IS SHAKING THE HAND? CLOSING DEALS IS A MAN'S JOB YOU SHINY FOREHEADED NON DEAL CLOSER!

So in closing…if 1 person out there has used a bulletin to find a loan officer/mortgage broker/debt consultant…go fucking die slowly and painfully – and make sure you don't have kids, cause I don't want your stupid lineage clogging up the sink that is my world.